you're all I have
by freakiin.ruby
Summary: What happens, when you loose everything? When you try so hard to getit back, that you even aks your nemesis for help? What if everything stays lost, and the only thing you have, is..your enemy? Find out here. Dean/old!Ruby.
1. everything she knows

**_You're all I have | DeanRuby_**

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**Disclaimer: **I don't own Supernatural, any of the characters or any song used in the story.

_I am what I want you to want what I want you to feel  
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe  
this is real  
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do  
Face away and pretend that I'm not  
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got_

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"Dean." Ruby leaned at a bookshelf right behind Dean.

Dean turned around. "Ruby." He gave her a despisive look.

"You called?" She returned his look.

He nodded, pressing his lips together. "Sam's missing."

"Aw. And now you're so desperate, you had to summon me." She pouted. "That _is_ cute."

At first, he didn't seem to intend to reply, but then he grabbed the brown bag,that had been lying next to him on the floor, opened it, and pulled out a gun. No, not a gun, _the colt_.

Instinctively, she took a step back. "Would you mind putting that thing back into the bag?"

"Yes." Now the colt pointed at Ruby.

She sighed. "What do you want, Dean?" She almost spit the word 'Dean' at him.

"You know, I _want_ to shoot you, but, unfortunately, I need your help."

Ruby smirked. "And what reason do I have to help _you_?"

His eyes flickered from her face to the colt, and back.

"Okay, so you need me to track Sammy down? Why don't you ask your little hunter friend.. what's his name.. Bobby?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Him and me.." he took a deep breath "we tried everything.. you understand me? Everything. No trace." He put the gun down. "Ruby, please."

"Alright."

"You'll help me?"

She nodded. "I'll try. I'll try everything _I _know."

**end of part one.**


	2. one last option

**A/N:** So I've worked my ass off for this the past few days, especially with finding a new demon. Don't diss Balam! I spent two hours on wikipedia to get him, okay? Oh, and sorry for all those mistakes in this, it was around 4 am when I finished this.

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**one last option.**

About two hours later, after Ruby had tried to find a trace of Sam, with plenty of crystal pendulums, spells and maps, nothing had worked.

"Anything?" Dean tried to sound calm, but Ruby could hear how badly he wanted her to say 'yes'.

She looked up from her 'work' and stared at his face. "Sorry."

For a moment, awkward silence filled the room.

"Is there anything else you can do?"

"There's something, yeah. But it's more complex than the other spells."

"Doesn't matter."

Ruby smirked. "Right." She took her small, grey leather bag and turned her back on him. "Wait here." she commanded, then disappeared behind the bookshelf. Dean wasn't exactly in the mood for a fight, so he did what he was told to.

When he heard the wooden door creak, he knew she was back.

Ruby straightly walked towards the small, white table with the map of the USA on it, and put the contents of her shoulder-bag.

"What's that?" Dean closely looked over her shoulder.

"A hexbag?" responded Ruby.

"What kind of hexbag?"

"Doesn't matter."

Dean repeated. "What kind of Hexbag?"

So did Ruby, only this time a bit louder, and angrier. "It doesn't matter!"

He grabbed it out of her hand and ripped it open.

What fell onto the map, shocked Dean. "Those are a baby's bones!"

Ruby gave him a despisive look. "Well, I didn't go kill a baby for this, if that's what bothers you."

"No, I mean - a baby's bones? That's some very black magic."

"Black, black magic, that is true.", she murmured to herself, while she put together her hexbag again.

"So why do you use it?" Dean looked at her with his 'everything you do is pure evil'-look.

She sighed. "Do you want me to get a hold of Sam, or not?" Her bluegreen eyes pierced through his darkgreenes.

He kept silent. She took it as a 'continue'.

Ruby tied a string to the ceiling, to its other end she tied the hexbag, so it now hung exactly over the middle of the map.

"Now, I need some of Sam Winchester's blood." the demon stated.

"Yeah, well I don't have any."

Ruby smirked. "I thoughts so."

The next second, Dean felt her thin fingers hit his nose. Hard. He hadn't felt pain like that in a few weeks. "Ow!" he angrily growled at her.

She rolled her eyes. "You _really_ need to think faster." With these words, she used her sharp fingernails to get some from the blood that ran out of his nose.

"I thought you needed Sam's blood."

"I thought you two were brothers."

"Oh."

She let his blood from her fingertips drop onto the hexbag.

"Here we go. Black, black magic, remember?"

The hexbag didn't move, but it started to sizzle.

Dean frowned. "Is that supposed to happen?"

"Yep." Ruby crossed her arms.

The sizzling got louder and a small column of smoke shot out of the hexbag.

Ruby turned towards Dean. "Still normal, twat."

Suddenly the blonde demon anxiously looked at the smoke, then grabbed Dean by his shirt and threw him backwards. Dean of course wanted to protest as his back crashed onto the floor, but that same moment, the hexbag exploded, leaving behind flames that burned the map, and parts of the table.

Realising what happened, the hunter got up and threw a red blanket onto the flames, sufficating them.

"Was that normal?" Dean gasped.

Ruby shook her head. "No."

She watched the flames burn a mark into the blanket, before they completly went out.

The Winchester closely looked at it. "What does this mean, Ruby?"

Her fingertips brushed over the strange pattern. "It means we forgot the one last option."

"What did we forget? We have considered everything now. Outside of the USA, in the USA.. hold on, do you mean he's.." Dean stopped, fearing saying out loud what they both thought would make it even more true. "..he's.. dead?"

She sighed. "No, worse."

The hunter didn't know why, but when her anxious gaze met his, he started to shiver.

"What could be worse?! What does this mean, Ruby, tell me!"

"He possesed." She shook her blonde curls. "This mark.." Ruby pointed at what the flames had carved into the blanket. "it's the mark of Balam."

Dean's rough voice interrupted her. "Demon."

Once again, the beautiful eyes of hers pierced right through him.

"Not just any demon, Dean. _Balam_. He's a _duke_ of hell, controlling over forty legions of demons. And he perfectly nows anything past and present." The blonde shook her head. "You're not match for him."

Dean turned his back on her, while shouldering the brown bag which contained the colt. "I'll find a way."

"You think just walking into him will give you any other result than him ripping pretty, pretty you to pieces?!" He could here the anger in her voice, but he ignored her.

_Dick,_ Ruby though, still trying to convince him not to go. She didn't know why, she had always hated him, but there was _no way on earth_ she was going to just let Dean die.

"You can't kill Balam anyways, he sure knows why he posessed innocent little Sammy."

He turned aroun again, now facing her.

"Oh, so I'll just leave Sam rotting to death?" Anger. Rage. Ruby could taste it. They both were angry, and they both knew, this conversation would end in a fight.

"Oh, so you being tortured to death before that is better?!"

"Then what do you suggest, smart arse?"

Ruby eyes flickered to the floor, then back to his face. "I'm sorry, Dean. There's nothing we can do."

**end of part two.**


	3. alright, alright

**A/N:** Ooh, that was quick, wasn't it? Doesn't mean that's a good thing. To be honest: I've reached a dead end. I already wrote the next part, but there's a whole and I've got no idea how to fill it. Nasty. But I'll find a way.

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**alright, alright.**

Two days later, Ruby turned up at Dean's doorstep. "Change of plans." was what she greeted him with, before she pushed herself past him and into the flat.

"What change?"

She sat down on his bed. "He's coming."

"What? Who? Sam?"

"Yeah, kinda." Ruby streched. "Balam's coming, inside Sam."

"So, now we'll try to get Sam back."

Ruby tilted her head. "If there's anything left from us apart from some piles of bones and torn up vitals, we could give it a shot."

Dean sighed. "Ruby."

She didn't reply, just gave him a despisive look.

The hunter continued talking. "While trying to survive his attack, we might as well try to save Sammy."

"Alright, alright."

Dean got angry. He didn't want to loose his brother. _Hell no._ That was a _no_ and that was final. "No, not alright! He's my goddamn brother, you cold-heartet bitch!" He yelled at her. He had been holding back his worry, his fear to loose Sammy and his rage for a few days by then, that's why it all came pouring out of him.

Ruby hopped up from the bed. "Calm down, Dean_._"

"Tell me one reason I should!" He grabbed her shoulders and shook her. Of course, Ruby pushed him away that same moment. And she pushed hard. He actually crashed onto the floor.

"My god, do you _want _me to hurt you?!"

A few seconds past, then both of them could hear a scratching on the ceiling.

Ruby's eyes anxiously whidened. "He's here." she whispered.


	4. some piles of bones and torn up vitals

**some piles of bones and torn up vitals**

Anxiously they both looked around, the room. Nothing happened. Everything was silent.

The blonde moaned. "I hate it when he does that."

"Does what?"

"Being quiet."

There was another sound from the ceiling.

With a sharp noise, Ruby pulled her demon-killing knife out of its leather case.

Dean also prepared himself for an attack, the colt in one hand, a bottle with holy water in the other. They both timidly looked upwards now.

"Ruby, can I ask you a question?" Dean broke the silence, still having his eyes nailed to the ceiling.

"Depends." The demon stared at the same spot where the noices came from, too.

"How can Sam be posessed? ..I mean.. the tattoo and everythi -"

She interrupted him. "Do you think some stupid tattoo matters at _that_ level of demon?"

"Right." He cleared his throat.

Again, a scratching, a few seconds of silence, then...**_THWACK_**! Something crashed down through the ceiling, right between Dean and Ruby.

It was a body. Hanging down on a rope.

"What the hell..?" Dean stared at the corpse in terror.

Ruby slashed open the bodie's chest with her knife.

Confused, he looked at her. "What are you doing?"

"Just to make sure that thing stays dead." was her response.

He smirked. _What's dead should stay dead. _"I don't suppose _that _was Balam?" He nodded towards the dead body.

"Sadly no. But, he's here..." the blonde turned towards the door "Right _now._"

And in fact, someone ripped open the door to Dean's hotel room. Not someone, _Sam._ Well, not exactly Sam, more like Balam.

He grinned. "Hello, Dean."

"What do you want, B?" growled Ruby.

Slowly, posessed Sammy turned his head towards her. "I'm not talking to bitches who try to take the piss out of me."

In response, she showed her demon eyes and hissed at him. "_Don't_ call me bitch."

Balam ignored her and looked at Dean again. "You know, _Dean_, you've been a nasty thorn in my ass since you and your brother killed Azazel."

"Yellow Eyes was a friend of yours? Aw, I'm so sorry." replied Dean.

The demon laughed. "You should _really _stop being that sassy if you want your brother back, Dean." He let both of them, Dean and Ruby, bash against the cold brick walls. "Or if you want to live, for that matter."

The hunter could feel how his flesh was slowly taking the form of the small chinks between the single bricks, how his blood desperately tried to get throught his whole body, but was pressed away. Ruby knew, that he felt it, she felt it herself, only, she was used to it. _Hell. _In hell it had been _worse _than this every second. _Worse _than anything she had ever seen a demon do on earth.

Finally, despite the pressure, Dean managed to gasp something like "Whatever you want, do it already!"

Then he heard his brother laugh, but the one laughing wasn't his brother. It was a monster. "I want to have some fun, Dean. And when I say 'fun' I don't mean just killing you two. Where's the fun in that?" He cocked his head. "Oh no. You two get pain like everybody else. Nice, slow, long torture, how does that sound?"

_Oh, fuck, no. _Ruby thought. _He's going to do it again._ He was going to do again, what he loved to do. It was Balam's '_game'._

The evil demon continued talking, lifting one eyebrow. "Let's play, my fav game."

"What is that Dean?" asked Dean.

"Dean, _don't._" warned Ruby.

"Let's call it 'Russian Roulette, shall we?" was the almost giggled answer. "Could hit anyone. _Sam included._ So, who's it gonna be? Blondie, Sammy, or you?" The demon smirked at Dean, showing his black eyes. Then he whispered. "It's my choice."

When Balam reached out with his hand, white flashes shot out of his fingertips, white flashes that where growing bigger and bigger, finally filling the whole room with a bright beam of white light.

Dean could feel his conciousness slowly fade, and the last thing he heard was a desperate scream, coming from Ruby. "No!" She yelled, with a tone, that was heartbreaking.

_No. _though Dean. _Not her. _He didn't even know why, but he didn't want that woman to die. That woman, he thought he'd loathe. _No, no, no. Period. Not her. Not now._

Dean heard himself scream, but was sure, that the pain he felt, wasn't enough, for what was supposed to hit the victim. _Or was it?_

**end of part three.**


	5. here and now

**A/N:** Hope you don't mind the change of the tenses, but it's supposed to be like this. And finally, I got to write a bit of Dean/Ruby romance. Yayyy!

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_Tell me that it's gonna be okay  
Tell me that you'll help me find my way  
Tell me you can see the light of dawn is breaking  
Tell me that it's gonna be all right  
Tell me that you'll help me fight this fight  
Tell me that you won't leave me alone in this_

__

'Cause I need  
I need a hand to hold  
To hold me from the edge  
The edge I'm sliding over slowly  
'Cause I need  
I need your hand to hold  
To hold me from the edge  
The edge I'm sliding past  
Hold on to me

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**here and now.**

Now there's silence.

When Ruby slowly pushes herself to her feet again, the light's gone. There's just darkness now. She stumbles through the motel room, looking for the light switch. She trips over something, she doesn't know what it is, she doesn't want to. She doesn't want to know, because she already knows it's a body. She doesn't want to know _who _it belongs to. But she has to find out, she will, anyway. Her numb fingers search for the light switch, find it, and again, she hesitates. She knows, what Balam does, she knows, he's gone know, which means, the destruction he left behind must be heartbreaking.

Finally, she forces herself to press down the button. What she sees, sure isn't what she had expected. Dean's lying on the floor, sleeping like a baby. But next to him, lies Sam. Ruby doesn't even know if it is Sam, but it has to be Sam, there's now other option. She kneels down next to the corpse, all covered in blood. His chest is ripped open, his heart is lying on the floor, torn up. _Some piles of bones and torn up vitals. That's what he leaves behind, that's was he _**_always _**_leaves behind_, Ruby thinks. And again, she wishes, she was like the others, finding this sight amusing. She wishes, she could laught and rip Dean open, too, now and have fun while doing that. But she's not like them. Never will be.

Ruby looks down on Sam, and she can't controll this stupid, stupid salty water pouring out of her eyes. She doesn't know how much time has past, but suddenly Dean slowly gets up. Her sobbing must have awakened him.

She turns around to face him, she wants to comfort him, because, if she feels all that crushed after Sam's death, how crushed must Dean feel? She doesn't even know why she cares about Dean so much, she's supposed to loathe him. The way she did, when they first met, that night. She was freezing in that icy breeze, when she waited in for the black impala. For about half an hour she had waited, when they finally showed up. The first thing Dean did, was pull out the colt and threaten her. So why does she care about him now? _Why? _Ruby tries to comfort him, but she ain't good at that, she never has been. All she can say is "I'm sorry, Dean."

He doesn't say anything, just stares at the corpse. She can see those green eyes fill with tears, she can see those rolling down his cheeks, dropping from his chin and onto his shirt. But he doesn't do anything. He's like frozen.

"Dean?" her worried voice doesn't reach him, everything's too far away from where he is. He's gone. "Dean, say something!" Now Ruby starts to panic, she doesn't want to be alone in this. She grabs his shoulders and shakes him. He doesn't react. He's just staring, his eyes seem like every life in them has been taken away with Sam's.

"Dean!" yells Ruby.

Finally, he seems to get back to reality, and reality tells him to scream. So he screams. "No!" It's a long, loud cry. "Sam! No!" He repeats. Again and again. Ruby understands. She never thought she could understand anything he does. Not ever. But she does. She wants to help Dean get through this, but she has no idea how. She decides to _just be there_. Gently, she puts her hand on his shoulder, and notices he's shivering. Dean now has his face covered in his hands. His screaming stopped, now he is just sobbing. Ruby puts her one arm around Dean's shoulders, with the other hand, she keeps on patting his. Neither of them knows how long they sit there, in the blood staring down at Sam's corpse. The cement floor is pressing against their knees, and the wind blowing through the window makes them freeze. Especially Ruby feels cold, because she only wears that thin, black longsleeve, that doesn't protect her from the cold breeze. Dean knows she's shivering. He's not. He feels warm. He _always _feels warm. So Ruby shouldn't shiver. To make it stop, he puts his arm around her waist.

They loose their feeling for time while sitting there.

After a while, there's a knock on the door. "Dean, are you in there?" It's Bobby. "I found out where Sam is! Boy? Dammit, it stinks like sulfur in here! Boy, say something!"

"I'm here!" Dean responds in a hoarse voice.

Bobby cracks open the door.

His reaction to what he sees is "Holy Hell!" First his eyes stare at the hanged man, who still is in the same place. Then he confusedly looks at Dean and Ruby. That's when he notices _who _is lying bloody on the floor. Bobby kneels down, too. "No! D-Dean, I- I am _so _sorry!"

Ruby lets go of Dean, to turn to Bobby. "What do you think we should do?"

Bobby turns to Dean. "That's his decision, I think."

The Winchester stands up, pulling Ruby to her feet, too, because he doesn't want to let go of her. "We shoul burn him, just like dad."

Gently, Ruby frees herself from Deans grip. "You honor Sam, I'll clean up this mess here." _For you, _she adds in her mind.

**end of part four.**

**

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**A/N: Please, please, forgive me for killing Sammy. I _love _Sam, but he got in the way of Dean & Ruby. Sorry, Sam!**


	6. your comforter

**your comforter.**

It's been a week now, since Sam passed away. Dean tries to wash Sam's memory away, with endless showering. At least two hours a day. However, it's useless. All his happy memories of Sam are even more vivid than they used to be. But the memories, he actually wants to keep. He doesn't want to keep the feeling that something like that is never coming back.

In the morning of November the second, a week from Sam's death, Dean's stands under the warm water again.

There's light knock on the door.

"It's open!" Dean yells, asuming it's Bobby. Demons wouldn't come to kill him, he's a wreck and already feeling maximum pain, and Bobby took the colt, to "Prevent you from doing something stupid, Winchester-like."

He hears the door screetch, then steps. _Bobby's louder. _He thinks. Maybe it was wrong of him to feel so save. Quickly, he turned of the water, wrapped a black towel around his waist and grabbed a bottle of holy water he had put on to the bathroom's window-sill, just in case.

Slowly, he opened the door to the other room and peeked through.

Then he realised _who _leaned in the door. "Ruby." He said, still hoarse, from all the screaming.

She looks up from a photograph of Sam, John and Dean, that lies on the floor. "Oh!" She says, slightly embarassed by half-naked Dean and turns her head to the side. Ruby? Embarassed? _Pathetic._

It's the first time that he smirks for, like, two weeks. "That's okay."

Cross-legged, Ruby sits down on a round, big coffeetable. That's her favourite way a of sitting, with crossed legs, on a table. She doesn't know why she has those extraordinary needs, she just has.

Dean sits down on his bed and sighs. "What are you here for?"

She hesitates, then starts to speak, while staring at the floor. "I'm here to see if you're alright. Alright considering.. you know."

"For that, I guess, yeah."

He beautiful blue-green eyes seem to pierce through him. "Don't forget to take care of yourself. You know, a bit more of doing life-supporting things, not showering."

"I'm _fine, _alright?!" he shouts. That same moment, his stomach grumbles.

Ruby groans. "How long since you've last eaten something?" She cocks her head. "You can tell me the truth, I'm not Bobby, so I won't kick your ass." she adds.

"It's been at least two days." He sighs.

Ruby rolls her eyes. "Winchester." She pulls a round thing, wrapped in white paper out of her bag. "Catch." Dean catches it when she throuws it in his direction.

"What's that?"

Ruby smirks. "I know you can smell it. Now _eat._" Dean's not a guy that follows commands (maybe apart from John's). Especially not Ruby's, but he knows it's for his own good.

"Eat, self-destrucitve Winchester!" The blonde commands, again.

He unwrapps Ruby's smelly 'present', and it _is _what it smelled like. _A cheeseburger. Ruby sure knows how to comfort someone. _Dean thinks, and, really, his mood is better than after showering. After a few bites, the tasty thing (to Dean, the best thing in the world, after Sex and his Impala.) is gone. "Mmm. You're right. I'm not going to torture myself anymore." He says, still chewing.

Ruby slightly smiles, then hops up from the table. "So, I'm off." She walks towards the door, but turns around again half way. "Call me if you need something."

He nodds, she walks out of the door.

For about ten minutes, he just sits there, thinking about.., about... Ruby. About the person she turned out to really be. He now knew, that she _really _wasn't like the other demons. She had helped him find Sam. Now, when he was thinking about it, she always had helped. Or at least tried to. He still loved the fact of her bringing him her a cheeseburger. Then the picture of Sam, bloody on the floor flipped back into his head, immediately whiping away any other thoughts, and Dean wanted to stick his finger down his throat to empty his stomach, before his stomach emptied itself. But he didn't. He knew that either Bobby or Ruby, or both would kick his but for that.

In the afternoon, he decides to visit Bobby, get some cases, and try to return to normal. At least as normal as ist was possible without his brother. If a hunter can ever get a little bit of normal.

**end of part five.**

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	7. something stupid

**A/N:** Meh. Yesterday, when I finished this, I was really happy with this. But now, I think the way it turned out to be wayyyy to cheesy. Gah! Maybe I'll rewrite this, but for now, I'm too lazy, so that stuff down there is official.

* * *

**something stupid.**

At Bobby's place, Dean fell asleep in front of the computer. He was searching for cases the whole night, it was around 4 am when he last checked.

Bobby wakes him with "Kid, wake up. Your comforter's here."

"Huh, what? What comforter?" yawns Dean.

That moment, Ruby walks into the room. "I'm _not _his comforter." She snarrls at Bobby.

Dean can't help himself, he has to smile. She's here again. She's come for him.

Ruby grabs a chair and sits down next to Dean, in front of the computer which still is running.

"What are you here for?" the Winchester asks.

"To prevent you from something stupid.."

"You mean, all those demonic omens in Boston? Is it.."

She interrupts him, knowing what he means. "Yeah."

"I'll kill him, Ruby."

"He'll kill you first, Dean, you know that, and I know that. You're full of wrath and rage and stuff!"

"They say, soldiers full of wrath and anger, are the best."

"Well, then 'they' are wrong Dean! They're driven by hate, rage, whatever. They're just hitting on anything, not watching their back, easy targets. Their like homicidal maniacs. They kill a lot, but it _always_ ends with them getting killed."

"You're not helping me?"

"I'll do anything to keep you away from Boston, and so is Bobby." She turns her head to Bobby, who nodds.

The Winchester sighs. "I thought so." Then he hopps up from his chair, and pulls out a small, silvery bottle. Before Ruby can realise it's holywater, she already fels a burning pain in her face, like if the drops on her cheeks were acid. She covers her face, trying to whipe of the holywater, but that same second she feels very tight a grip around her waist. _Dean. _He ripps her knife out of its case.

As soon as he had it in his grasp, he lets go of Ruby, pushes Bobby against the wall and before either Ruby or Bobby can act, he's out the front door.

When the demon runs out of that door, too, he's already driving away in his Impala.

"Boston." She growls, while her hands form fists.

**

Of course, Ruby follows Dean. In Boston it's pissing down so much, after ten seconds everything is soaking wet. Ruby has been following Dean for three hours, and now she feels like the water even goes through her skin, like it's pulsing through her veins. She's given up rubbing her arms and chest to keep at least warm a bit an hour ago. It's not hard to follow Dean, he's the only person (apart from her) who's not using an umbrella.

When he turns into a small side path, Ruby takes her chance.

She runs in his direction, then slamms his body against a house wall with all her strength.

He screams in pain, as she presses him against the white bricks even harder.

"I'd like my knife back, please." She hisses into his left ear.

Of course, Dean is prepared for that. "Sorry to disappoint." he grunts, then turns around and harshly pushes her onto the wet, black cement floor.

She watches Dean run away, growling and lying on the dirty ground. She get's up, follows him.

"You're doing something stupid!" She yells after Dean.

He turns around once, still walking. "Then why do you follow me?"

Ruby stops. Now she just stands there in the rain, staring after him. Dean turns around a second time, stops too. He watches her, just standing there. He never realised just how beautiful she was. Even soaking wet, covered in dirt and blood. He fels tears in his eyes, pouring down, just like the rain. Somehow, now he knows what he _really _has to do. Not getting revenge for the death of the only thing he had left. Because Sam isn't the only thing that's left. He now runs towards _her, _anxiously hoping for the moment, when he stands right in front of her. Even though they weren't so far apart, it couldn't come soon enough.

Finally, after a few, to him endless seconds, he can face Ruby.

Puzzled, her blue-green eyes pierce through his dark greenes, when he puts one arm around her. "What are you doing?!"

"Something stupid." He replies, then passionately kisses her. He has both his arms wrapped around her, so she can't move, because he knows she'd push him away. At first, Ruby tries to struggle. It's not only Dean's grip she tries to get rid of, but also her feelings. But she can't. That all, everything, it's just..just.. to much.

Now Ruby doesn't even struggle anymore, she wraps her thin arms around his neck, because, from the moment she had stopped running, she knew she wanted it too.

The world is busy, people run past them under their umbrellas, but to those two, time stands still. Not even the icy air and the pouring rain seem to be there anymore. All theyfeel, see, taste, smell, is each other. For a few beautiful seconds, it's just Dean and Ruby.

**end of part six.**

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**A/N:** Yeah. So Bobby won't die. No. Fucking. Way. I'm not killing Bobby. Let's say I'm Henry Dunn, which means Sam was Trish, Dean & Ruby are Abby. And Bobby's uhm.. he's Jimmy. Or Shea, or whatever. You know what I mean.


	8. moonlight

A/N: I am _so _sorry, this chapter has taken me like **forever **to write. I just was to busy the past couple of days. Still am. Means: Chapters are coming slowly, but they _are._

* * *

**moonlight.**

Ruby realises what just happened. What she just did. _What _had she done!? She was just going to hurt him. Hurt him more, than _hell _ever could.

Dean feels the tears running down Ruby's cheeks, he can tell the difference because the rain is icy and her tears are warm. Slowly, he pulls his lips away from hers.

"Is there something wrong?"

Ruby sobs. She sobs. In every memory he has of Ruby, she never sobs. "I'm sorry, Dean."

"What?"

She steps away from him, for her, it's easy to slip out of his grasp. "I-I can't do this!" She says, before running down the street.

She has to run, to get away from him. As fast as she can, because if she doesn't she's going to return into his arms. And if she returns to him, she's going to hurt him. She doesn't want him to get hurt. And now she knows why; because she loves him.

So now, she tries to get away from him, the quickest way possible.

"Ruby!" Dean screams after her, so loud everyone walking down the road gives him weird looks. When she doesn't react to his shouting, he follows her. He starts running just in time, before Ruby vanishes in a sideway.

"Ruby!" he yells again, still following her. He finds her in that same sideway, -- zusammen gekauert -- in a corner.

He sighs. "You call me self-destructive." Out of some protector-instinct, he takes off his jacket and wrapps it around Ruby, who is obviously freezing. He lets his body drop down next to her, onto the cold cement floor.

Her eyes fill with tears. She turns to face him. "I'll hurt you, Dean. I know I'll do."

"I don't care." Is all Dean says, before he lets his fingertips brush Ruby's cheeks. "I love you."

She turns away. "No. Don't. Just don't."

"Ruby..."

Ruby yells. "Don't." Then she gets up, wraps her arms around her waist, dropping his jacket into a dark, dirty -- Pfütze --. She wants to leave again, but that minute, she realises, she can't. She can't leave _him_. He's the last person that deserves to be left. Of course, she'll hurt him, but she'll hurt him more if she leaves now. So she turns around again. She sighs. She knows, she will never, _ever,_ be able to struggle, to get rid of those feelings. Never, she had wished to be heartless and evil, like the other demons so much. She wishes, _he_ wasn't there, glaring up at her. But, she loves him and she can't just let him sit there in the rain. She has no idea when this whole, pathetic 'demon in love' thing started. Was it this morning, or just five minutes ago? Was it after Sam's death, when she had made the spell, or had she always cared, since that day, when he pointed the colt at her for the first time? Somewhere, between the day she had told _him _the truth, and running through Boston.

Dean gets up. "Ruby?" He asks, carefully taking a few steps closer.

She bites her lip. "I'm sorry."

There's a loud growling from the clouds. Thunder, like they call it. Then, Ruby feels another shower of rain pouring down on her, only this time coulder, and harder. Also, now it's completly dark, the only light is the full moon shining into the dirty corner with Dean and Ruby.

"I think.." Dean starts, while looking up in the sky. "... we should.. uhm.. find something dry-" He smirks. "If that's possible, in this city."

She laughs, and she doesn't even know if it's because of his joke or because she's pretty freakin sure, she's going to have to share a motel room with Dean.

Really, half an hour later, about 9 pm, Dean is sitting on the grey, big bed of a motel room, trying to get his shirt dry.

Ruby leans in the doorway, still wet. She hasn't moved since he has unlocked the door. Water is dropping down from her hair onto the black, dusty carpet.

Dean sighs. "Ruby, come in." He nodds backwards. After she doesn't react, he adds. "Now."

She smirks, then slowly pushes herself inside.

Slightly annoyed, he turns his eyes towards her again. "You're gonna stand there the whole night aren't you?"

Ruby turns around for a few seconds, to close the door.

"Listen..." Dean tries to start a real conversation, but then stopps.

She crosses the room, sits down on the small, brown table, crosses her legs.

He starts talking again. "Have you seen my...-"

"Jacket?" She interrupts.

"Well have you?"

Ruby smirks. These days, they smirk at each other a lot, as there's not enough happiness for something more. "It's in that street."

Actually, Dean smirks now, too. "I'll get it."

"You're serious?" She frowns.

Dean nodds. "Sure."

Ruby hopps up from the table. "Then let's go, huh?"

They walk back to the damn path, where the now of coure, soaking wet piece of fabric lies.

He picks up his jacket, which now isn't even worth being called jacket.

Ruby anxiously looks up at one of the house's walls.

Before Dean can find out, why she's doing that, he already is stamped down by something that jumped at him out of some window.

_Werewolf._ Ruby grabs it, throws it against the walls, but those few seconds, she needs to grap her weapon, it uses, because the werewolf doesn't need any.

It now attacks her, she can feel the sharp, long teeth dig deep into her flesh, how they rip it open and the blood shoots out of the wound.

"Ruby!" She can hear Dean yell.

"You've got the knife, kill it!" She gasps, trying to push the creature away.

Like she instructed, Dean stabbs the werewolf into, hitting its ribs.

Ruby pulls herself out of its grasp, just before it drops to the floor, dead.

With puppy eyes, Dean stares at the deep, red wound on her shoulder. "It.. bit you." He states. He'd give _anything _to hear her say it doesn't have an effect on demons, _anything. _

"I know." She says, glaring at the dead body.

"You're not going... you know..?"

Again, she lets her eyes pierce through Dean. "Should be able to control it.. I mean.. _if _.. the werewolf's dead, you know."

Dean can't help but think about... Madison. Which makes him again think of _Sam. _Sam, Madison, Jess, Mom, Dad. _They're all together. _Dean thinks.

They have each other. He's the only one left, apart from Bobby. And _her. _Ruby. It's like his thoughts are stuck in circle. Everything that comes to his mind, leads back to Sam, then how Dean's alone, then how he's not, because of _Ruby. _Because Ruby is everything that matters now. He can do nothing but hope she'll never redject him, and that she loves him the same way. That she always will.

"Good." He finally replies. "What about your wound?" Is what he says next, then takes a few steps in her direction. She removes her dark grey leather jacket, so they both can see the torn up skin better. "Oh, great." She murmurs, when she notices the big, round hole in the leather. Dean frowns, as he 'studies' the bite. "Nasty... 'fraid we'll need a doctor."

Half puzzled, half irritated, she looks at him. "Are you freakin' serious?!"

"You want me to stitch this?"

Ruby sighs. "I'm a goddamn demon!" Now the black shoots into her eyes.

Her obsidian-colored eyes make him shiver. "Oh, so you'll heal yourself with demonic magic?"

Again, she sighs. "Alright, alright."

"Hosiptal?" Dean asks, slightly smirking.

Ruby nodds. "Hospital."

**end of part seven.**


	9. this is how it ends

**this is how it ends.**

"Oh, that really _is _a nasty wound." The doctor states, after closely looking at Ruby's shoulder. "How the hell did you get that?"  
With his fake smile, which made people believe him anything Dean replies. "It was a dog. A big dog. Very big...you know."

Ruby moans and looks at Dean, totally annoyed. She can't believe she let him drag her into this stupid hospital, where she was forced to sit on this huge, soft bed the whole day, wearing that stupid white-with-blue-points piece of fabric. So, the look she gives him has to be considered her 'I hate you!'-look.

Finally after ten, to Ruby endless minutes, they're alone.

Ruby growls at him. "Never do that again."

He patts her head. "Yeah, honey."

"Don't do that, either."

The doctor returns, giving them the results, telling them Ruby can leave anytime she wants, as the wound was big and looked disgusting, but didn't affect her health.

They walk down the street, holding hands. Dean unlocks his impala, they both get in.

When driving, they sit next to each other, happy. Because now they know. They know.

_They know that sometimes, there has to be loss for some people, to realise, what they need. What they deserve, what they will get. Sometimes loosing something makes you see the whole picture. And now they know. They now know, that this is how it's supposed to be. Dean and Ruby. That's how it ends. That's how it always ends. That's fate. That's what everything has always lead to._

Dean and Ruby. Together.

**end.**


End file.
